This nation lacks a proper definition of bullying. The majority of definitions of bullying include illegal acts of aggression like assault, battery, menacing, stalking, and sexual harassment. The fervent dialogue about students' aggression must include clear lines between legally actionable behaviors like assault and actual bullying. Groups representing minority students are engaged in the wrong conversation.

            Being ritually abused is NOT bullying, it is a human rights violation that is addressed very seriously in all Western nations but our own. In America bullying is fodder for entertainment via reality TV like Survivor, or even entertainment news. We feel sad for victims, theoretically, unless we think they had it coming--if they had not been such a nerd, if they had not dressed so strange, if they had not been so dumb, if they had not been gay, black, girls, poor… It is NOT the victims’ fault they are bullied.

            We are not teaching our children to stand up for themselves. We are not teaching our children social skills that help them protect themselves against abuses. We are not forcing the schools to, at the very least, punish aggressors consistently—regardless of gender!

             A young student in Dayton was being regularly, manually sodomized in the school bathroom by other students. When it came to light, the school did very little about the “bullying.” Now the family is engaged in a law suit. SODOMY IS NOT BULLYING!

            Americans are viler to one another than any other Western nation. We have the most resources, and the worst treatment. We educate every student, therefore we have a responsibility to protect every student. The schools act in loco parentis while students are in their care. They are required by law to protect those students. Great policies exist in most schools—having anti-bullying policies is mandated by law—but the loss of alignment between law, policy, and practice causes inconsistent application of policies. My own research has shown that distinct differences occur along gender lines with respect to who is considered most dangerous and what needs to be done with victims.

            First, we must add harassment based on sexual orientation to the list of Constitutional violations prohibited under the Civil Rights Act of 1964.  Second, we need definitions of bullying that do not permit the inclusion of legally actionable behaviors. Third, we must mandate that no only laws against harassment and bullying exist but that ongoing training exist for teachers, administrators,  and staff (custodians, aides, secretaries, and bus drivers are critical to this effort). Fourth, all students must receive instruction about appropriate, responsible communication and healthy relationship techniques in age appropriate ways in every grade. Fifth, all rules must be enforced consistently, regardless of gender, age, etc.—girls’ typical aggression is more dangerous over time than any fistfight, and fistfights are normally assault and not bullying any way.

            This is my mission—protect students from aggression through policy, training, and consequences. It does work. It is not as hard is it sounds. It is our responsibility as citizens in a free country to demand that the most vulnerable members of our society are educated well and protected properly—Whole Child education includes more than having a week of diversity lessons during Black History Month.